A sunday school lesson I struggled with
When doing the right thing feels bad
When I was 10 years old, my Sunday school teacher said something that didn’t sit well with me. It wasn’t because what he said was wrong, but because it was right, yet it felt unfair.
He said that if you give someone something but it pains you to have given it to them, that is the same as not giving at all.
Why I struggled with the statement
Let me give you an example to explain why this didn’t sit well with me. Suppose you’re a kid at school with lunch, and you notice that your friend doesn’t have anything to eat. In this situation, you have two choices: eat your food alone or share it with your friend.
But it’s not that simple. Let me add some nuance. Let’s say that before you give some of your food to your friend, you realize that if you eat all of it, you’ll be full; but if you share it, you won’t be.
Being a good kid, you decide to share your food with your friend. But deep down, you’re bothered by the fact that you won’t be full.
According to my Sunday school teacher, this is the same as not sharing your food at all.
My Sunday school teacher’s interpretation
My Sunday school teacher always emphasized that God wants people who help with a joyful heart. If you’re helping with a bitter heart, you might as well not help at all.
So in the earlier example, sharing your food while worrying that you won’t be full does not, in his view, put you on the good side of God.
As a kid, I often found myself in situations where I needed to share something with a friend but didn’t feel like sharing. And I’m afraid to say that I would often choose not to share.
Here’s how I used my childish reasoning:
If I’m upset about not being full and still go ahead and share, I lose on both fronts:
- I won’t be full because I’ve given away some of my food.
- God still considers me a bad person because I didn’t happily share.
So, the best option seemed to be not sharing at all. Even if God thought I was a bad person, at least I would be full.
Growing up changed my perspective
It may be true that God wants us to help others with a joyful heart, but if you’re always waiting to feel joyful before helping, you’ll almost never help anyone at all.
What I realized is that the person receiving help has no idea that I’m not helping them happily. As far as they’re concerned, they’re just grateful to have received help.
Your friend at school who had no food doesn’t know you were bothered by the fact that you wouldn’t be full. If anything, they’re grateful you helped reduce their hunger.
THerefore, you should help even if sometimes you don’t feel like it. Why? Because the person you’re helping will appreciate it, and in their eyes, you’ll be a good person. Even if, according to my Sunday school teacher, God might not see it that way.
Yes, we should all strive to help joyfully. But we shouldn’t refuse to help just because our heart isn’t fully in it. Now that I’m grown up, I help anyway.